The debate over whether there should be more women speakers in our industry was reignited by Eric Meyer’s recent post where he said “as a conference organizer, I don’t care about diversity.” This set off what is apparently called a blogostorm, with lots of passionate reactions.
I would need to know a lot more about the diversity within the field, and the relative talent available, before I could offer a useful opinion, but the dynamics of the whole thing seemed very familiar. Then I realized: it’s the same dynamic as a high school dance.
If you’ve since blocked these experiences out, let me take you back there a moment. The DJ’s spinning “White Lines,” you’re goofing around in a circle with your friends, showing off that you know all the words (though you have only the most abstract idea of what they might mean). Then “Careless Whisper” comes on. Some people are secretly excited, because it’s an excuse to get closer to what (or whom) they were after all along. Other people dread these moments, because of the ball of nerves and fear that strikes the pit of their stomach, but feel they ought to take part anyway. Whatever their reaction, the code of conduct is the same. Girls are meant to make themselves as appealing as possible, and wait to be asked. Boys are meant to ask, and if they are turned down, keeping asking around until someone says ‘yes’.
Tantek comments, “One of the biggest complaints I hear/read is, why aren’t people inviting me to speak?..But the biggest response to those that are waiting for invites is – why are you being so passive?”. For me, at least, it’s because I didn’t know we were meant to keep asking until someone said yes! Isn’t it pushy or rude or inappropriate or something? Apparently it isn’t, but if you didn’t know what the code of conduct was, I think your assumption might be influenced by the way you were expected to behave in those socially formative years.
I never made it to prom. I figured out that living rooms were much more fun to have dance sessions in, because you chose the tunes, you could jump on the couch, and you didn’t have to wear stupid shoes. If conference rosters are the new homecoming courts, Meri’s and Tara’s parties are looking like a lot more fun!
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